Keep Moving Forward

This post title is a rip-off from the Disney film "Meet the Robinsons."  Which is, by far, my favorite of the Disney animated films. Even though it wasn't as popular as some of their other films.

Anyway, I've loved the quote and the concept since the first time I saw the film. A while back, it, along with some other things, inspired me to write this:

I Am Strong, Intelligent, Faithful, Loving and Honest

I Work Hard, Play Hard, and Live Out-loud.

I Love My God, My Family, My Neighbor, and Myself.

Admittedly, I have not given my "Standard" as much thought recently as I should. But I do still think that is describes the ideal me. It contains the things I think are important for me.

I recently watched a video done on Arnold Schwarzenegger's 6 steps for success. It was actually really interesting stuff. So I'll go over it really quick.

1. Trust yourself.
2. Break the Rules.
3.Don't be afraid to fail.
4. Don't listen to the nay-sayers.
5. Work your butt off.
6. Give back.

Great stuff, right? Weird that it came from Arnie.

Well, I've been trying a lot more lately to 'move forward'. It's been hard, especially considering the situation my family is in, financially.

But I want to be better, and do better. At life. And so I am working at it. I'm fighting off the nay-sayers and my own encroaching depression to stay motivated. I'm doing this. No. Matter. What.

Did Not Finish

My blog the other day brought back memories of another Cross Country race in high school.

I was part way through my sophomore year, my first year of high school and as a runner. Things were going well. I'd lost 20 lbs of fat and gained it back as muscle. The real races, against runners from other schools were just starting. It was at a home meet, that this story happens.

The race started like normal. I was as excited as ever to run. Maybe even more so. The signal was given and a few dozen teenagers took off. It felt good, and there was a lot of adrenaline in my veins for that first bit. I was on a familiar course with new opponents to gauge myself against.

By the time I was in the second mile of the 3.2, the adrenaline was gone, and I was left running on my own strength and determination. But I was holding strong. I knew I could do it. I'd done it before, afterall.

I started into the third mile and I was hurting. It was hard. I was winded and my side hurt and my legs were sore. It was too hard. Slowly, I convinced myself that something must be wrong. It shouldn't hurt this much.

Then I stopped.

I lay panting in the grass while other runners passed me by. A few of my teammates voiced concern for me. I waved them on. After a few minutes I got up and walked back to the starting line.

I got back and my coach immediately let into me. He didn't yell, but I could tell he was disappointed. I made my excuses and continued on the day.

The next day in school, I went into the coaches office and saw the big poster-board he'd made to track our times and such. Next to my name, in black sharpie, were the letters "DNF."

I was ashamed. I'd seen those letters before, by the names of some of my teammates, but not by mine. Did not finish. It was the mark of failure.

I ran for two years, the mile and 2 mile in Track, and the 5k in Cross Country. Never again did the letters DNF appear by my name.

I had another teammate whose drive amazed me. His name was Mike. One time, at a large invitational, meaning there were several schools and hundreds of runners, he placed very highly in his race. Despite sharp pain in his leg, he ran. Only after the race did we discover that his leg was broken. He had a stress fracture that ran from the top of his Tibia to the bottom.

He ran 3.2 miles on a broken leg.

That, my friends, is determination. We should be just at strong.

How to Win?

I'm not always the kind of guy that learns from life experiences. Really, I'm pretty daft. Recently, while running, a memory of my high school cross country days came back to me:

In one of my first races as a cross country runner, I found myself running most of the race with another runner from my school. Kerry. Kerry was tall and skinny and was an experiences sprinter and hurdler. It was his first cross country race as well, I believe.

As we neared the finish line, we both started to sprint in, trying to beat the other. Sadly, he destroyed me in those last hundreds of feet.

Impressively, I did learn something from that defeat. I learned that to beat Kerry, I needed to be way ahead of him when the finish line came into view. In the next race, I did just that. I beat him in the long game, so he wouldn't have a chance to beat me in the wild sprint to the finish.

Lesson Learned.

Or, was it?

How often now do I look at my situation, at my opponent, and analyze how to win? The key in the story was to not allow Kerry to use his incredible strength against me. I created a situation where his sprinting ability never came into play.

I'm older now. I've left the imaginary universe of high school and joined the slightly more real world. My opponent is no longer a 6'5" sprinter. It is now me against the world. Not the people of the world, mind you. I like to think that most of them are on my side.

So, how does one win against the world? If we apply the lesson I learned in high school, it's easily explained:  Just don't play the world's game. You have to beat the world with your strength, and don't let it use it's strengths against you.

So, what are your strengths? What are your world's?

Nerd Fitness Challenge

I never blogged about my last challenge on nerdfitness.com, but I should have. It's awesome.

First of all, you create a character. You chose a race and a class. Then you ive yourself some starting stats. That's right, it's the DnD of fitness.  Here's my charater currently:

Trovan
Level 2
Half-elf Ranger
STR 5
DEX 2
STA 5
CON 3
WIS 4
CHA 3


With each 6 week challenge (one is starting today), you set goals and assign the stat points you'll earn for each goal.

Here are my goals for the next 6 weeks:

1. Exercise 6 days a week. (STR 1, DEX 1, CON 1, STA 1) No matter what. I usually do good for a week or two, and then fail miserably for a month or two. The goal here is to break that cycle. 

2. Track diet and eat healthy. (CON 4) I have the same cyclical problems with diet that I do with exercise. And again, I will break that cycle. To accomplish this goal and get full points, I will track my food consumption every day, and I will be below my goal calories 6 out of 7 days a week.

3. Get to 10 unassisted pull-ups. (STR 4) This was one of my goals last time. I got from 2 to 5 without really even trying that hard. If I work at it the whole 6 weeks this time, I will make it for sure.

4. Blog 2 times a week. (WIS 1, CHA 1) I love to blog, and to write, but my poor blog has sat untouched for months now. This is goal will get me doing again something I love.


As you all know, I'm a lazy SOB. That's why I set goals that require some dedication and consistency.


Now, since today is the start of the challenge, I will definitely be working hard to start off right. I didn't work out this morning, since I needed extra recovery time from the weekend. The hike I went on yesterday took a lot out of me. I will exercise tonight though. It's an Insanity day.


Also, I'm tracking my food at myfitnesspal.com. Which has always been a helpful tool, but I've not been consistent at it.

Fly home, little birdie!

This is just some of the funny I have plucked from the interwebs. Like an injured baby birdie I nursed back to health*, I now send them back out into the wild.

*I've never nursed a baby birdie back to health. I have shot a few with a bb gun though. It was a long time ago, so PETA can't come after me anymore.

I think I will now do a meme post in the near future. Philosoraptor inspired me.

Naively Optimistic for a Better 2012

I know, I know...I'm a few days late for a new years blog post. I'm a bit of a lazy blogger. I have also yet to write down any definitive resolutions.

I just hope, at this point, that 2012 doesn't hurt as much as 2011. Not just for me and my family, but for a lot of people. It seems to have been a horrible year for most people I know.

My 2011, in review:

• Had a good paying job, hated it but needed it.
• Wife gets extremely sick and has to have expensive surgeries.
• Got fired for not making sales quotas. I'm not a salesman, btw.
• Was denied unemployment so wracked up more survival debt.
• Got a new job that I like but pays very little and has crappy hours.
• Wife has more health problems.
• Got another new job, slightly better pay and hours than the other, but since I have to work both to make ends meet, it still sucks. I love this job, btw.
• Continue to work 2 jobs, for about 15 hours of work per day.
• To tired all the time to care about anything. I stop exercising. I start eating more to stay awake. And I get addicted to caffeine.
• I get fat again.
• 'Cougar Town' got cancelled.
• Still can't survive to we have to file bankruptcy. Everyone thinks we are doing just to be ass-holes. But we had no other options. Really.
• Brother-in-Law dies.

Now, I have to say that there have been some good things this year. I do have a job I love, where I get to play around with computers all day long. My kids are relatively healthy and happy. And they're doing well in school. A sister-in-law got engaged (not the same one that lost her husband). We have had a great holiday with lots of family time.

Now, in the spirit of blogging on the fly, I will now set my New Year's Resolutions as I write them. How's that for effective goal setting?

So, without further ado, and without any fore-thought whatsoever, I present you with:

Ben's New Year's Resolutions 2012

1. Lose weight. Again.
2. Break caffeine addiction.
3. Get into a house, with a yard.
4. Make enough money for Tauni to be a stay-at-home mom again.
5. Learn to play guitar. For reals.
6. Run a marathon and qualify for the Boston Marathon.
7. Write a novel. (my 2013 resolution will be to get it published)
8. Spend more quality time with my wife and kids.
9. Repair damaged relationships with certain extended family members.
10. 100% Home Teaching.

There are probably a few more things I should add to that list. Maybe I'll do some mid year resolutions to round it out a bit.

Life, as opposed to...

A Love Tap | Break.com

The above video is just awesome. And a little inspiring on the same thread as the rest of this post.

I spent a good chunk of today at a funeral. Someone close to me, and close to people close to me, died recently in tragic fashion. As I sat there, isolated from everyone I knew as loved one after loved one got up to talk about this person, I got to thinking. Selfishly, it wasn't about the man for whom I was there to pay homage, but about myself. I know, add it to the list.

Well, I realized something: I want to live a spectacular life. What do I want people to say about me when I pass? I want them to say "That guy really lived!" And maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll then shake their heads and add, "And what a way to go!"

You see, I'm no activist. I don't need to change the whole world. I don't feel particularly driven to right the wrongs of society or champion the underdog. My only legacy, at least the only one that matters to me, is in the few dozen loved ones that will miss me when I'm gone. Okay, a 'few dozen might' be a little generous. I don't want to be the guy that was always working and always tired. I don't want my kids to say I yelled to much or didn't play with them enough. I don't want my wife to say that I wasn't there for her, attentive enough, or loving enough. I want to revel in the successes of those around me as much or more than my own. I want to risk much and enjoy the failure as much as the win. I want to really learn how to play the guitar.

The man who we honored to day was a man who excelled at living. He had some demons that overcame him, which is what led us to today. But while he was alive, that man lived. I wish I had taken notes, or a lesson or two, when I had the chance.

I have no excuse for mediocrity. I wasn't born for it, but I have never really forsaken it. There is a certain comfortableness in being average, in the middle ground. It's almost as though it's where we ought to be, as most people are. But...It's not for me. I want to learn to hate those words: Average. Mediocre. Normal. I want to be described as amazing, extraordinary, or spectacular. No longer will I mill about in the dismal ranks of the many. I shall push forward to the high ground, where footing isn't as firm, but the view is magnificent.

Come with me, if you dare.